Stalking My Memories

...fuck. conflicting family visiting options, within a very limited time window, and somehow IT'S A WEEK FROM FUCKING CHRISTMAS.

....can I just stay in Pittsburgh and hide until the holidays are over?

My Christmas haul is unexpectedly good this year since mine honorable brother and his lovely wife are visiting the relatives for some of the same time I am. He's left a bunch of media with our parents, and I got to bring home any that I wanted (though I'm treating it as holding on to them rather than they are mine now, muwahah!).

Top criteria for PS2 games?

If I think Coyo writes fic about it or I've seen Dogmatix draw something about it or mention it in passing or anything really. Nope, not a fangirl at allllll.

Apparently top criteria for DVDs was "how likely am I to pick up foreign languages from this?"

Also, anyone have recommendations for learning languages? I always hear about Rosetta Stone as the product with the best/most pervasive advertising, but I'm not sure I want to take that route for picking up Portuguese.

....there's nothing quite like your body deciding that nooooope, you're stayin' UP tonight, especially after a few nights in a row of crazy unreliable schedule, and then doing spontaneous Cooking Projects/Experiments at ungodly in the morning (at least it was when I started) because it's there, and you're there, and if you just do this one little cooking thing that makes later so much easier but since we did that how 'bout MORE and suddenly your body kinda decides it's not going to be vertical anymore, lying down is a GOOD thing and one might even perhaps say necessary but first you just need to wrap up with One. More. Thing -

I'ma getting a nap now. Real post some time later. Hopefully.

A bad day: no comment.

A good day: finding out Coyo has spammed new fic.

...huh. That really DOES make many things better!

So. I think we first off need a warning: this post will deal with death, suicide, depression, and bullying.

Still here? Ok. Here goes!

My facebook feed brought up an obituary this morning.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/theday/obituary.aspx?n=kristina-gail-quarto&pid=161291367

I remember Kristy Quarto. We were in classes together in middle and high school, and we went to the same elementary school. It was strange to read this obituary. It doesn't mention her arrogance. It didn't mention how she plagiarized poetry from the internet to be one of the winners in a contest memorializing two kids who'd died in a car accident at our high school - and then went on to win some popularity contest from the local Italian community not two weeks later. It didn't mention how she had the particular curse of so many bright kids; that she needed to tear down others in order to build herself up. She was catty and a bully - I can't speak for anyone else, but she certainly tried to make my middle school days as hellish as possible.

It troubles me what else isn't mentioned. I have never understood why obituaries are overly infused with Thesaurusisms, flowery prose overwhelming any content.

I have no idea what she died from. I suppose many people have this ridiculous phobia of admitting suicide, so that's what I kind of automatically assume is going on when no cause of death is listed. Perhaps there was some unseemly incident involving recreational use of pharmaceuticals, perhaps there's some small town mentality going on where the death itself is ignored in favor of lauding a person's life.

I wish people were more modern with this sort of thing: who this person was, what was important to them, how they died, and who is left behind. None of this flowery tripe about "finally succumbing to" or "has lost the battle against" -- Life is a sexually transmitted disease, and diagnosis is eventually fatal. Let's enjoy what we can while we can, or at least that's how I try to look at it when depression isn't eating me.

I hope she died well, whatever that means to her. I'm not glad she's dead, no matter how she was then. I'm glad I haven't run into her since graduating, since it means I can pretend she did indeed go on, and live a good life, and turn around from what she was and how she approached things.

May we all live up to our obituaries.

So, I'm sure most everyone has heard the news by now. I was driving by a Hostess outlet...store... place today, by sheer chance, and I almost turned in and got a memorial twinkie.

I have a strange relationship with Hostess.

Meme was Dad's mother - a Southe'n Lady - at least that was the image she projected. I remember staying with her as a child, and those were always FUN weekends. She lived in a small 1 bedroom apartment in a complex for elderly folks (again, I think - as a little kid, many of these details escaped me). She'd often let me paint, and then we'd hang the results on her fridge, and she'd watch her soaps - I could never follow them, and didn't really try. I just sat there and enjoyed Teh Drama! She had a fascinating brown half shag half felt pillow that vibrated when you sat on it - I can only guess it was supposed to ease one sitting down or something - and I'd enjoy stealing it while we watched Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune - she was aces at that, especially Wheel. Even today when I watch that I get little flashes of that little apartment on the hill.

And we'd always take a trip down the hill - usually by car, since Meme loved her fried chicken and exercise was something reluctantly engaged in. We'd go down to the Hostess outlet, and she'd pick up some Wonderbread, and I'd get a small pack of something which was usually Twinkies.

It was - and last I knew, still is in that inevitable way of run down cheap corner stores that never evolve, never grow, and it's simply the bored faces cashing you through the lane that changes - a remarkably trashy place. I want to say it was incredibly ghetto, but I'm trying to be more PC than that.

Every other Hostess store I've gone by has the same industrial, ridiculous look to it. And I almost turned in to one here because I wanted to buy a Twinkie for Meme, who passed back in my freshman year of college - jeebus, that's back in 2000, maybe early 2001. It was the diet that got her - that fried chicken that she only got as a special treat, once a month, any time you asked her (no matter how often you asked her).

But let's be honest. That shit is BAD for you. So I'm going to write about it here, and pretend that Twinkies are delicious (....honestly, I dunno if I could even bring myself to eat one), and I'll raise a metaphorical one high to my grandmother.

But I think I'll be ok if twinkies are gone for good.

I find it interesting (in the not fun way) how poorly I do with a(n extra) deadline hanging over my head. The NaNo thing was interesting, but not good for my mental health. So while I might try to keep pushing frequent posting, particularly this month, but no expectations.

While this year isn't a wedding to attend, and then a funeral, and then family and holidaze shenanigans, I'm still feeling overwhelmed, and this isn't helping. :( Sorry.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/cvr/charlie-victor-romeo-film

OH. MY. GOD. TAKE MY MONEY, PLEASE!!!!

Am back from Brazil. T'was LOVELY. Will hopefully be a full fledged post about it later (along with replies to the last few posts' comments).

Life just keeps getting More Interesting. No further comment at this time.

Dunno why the Bridget Jones's Diary style. Sorry.

Anthrocon is this weekend. Have eyed it sidelong for last... 3, 4 years, but never gone due to random real life events. Am eying sidelong again.

Back to cleaning, huzzah!

Internets! O, glorious internets, how I've missed you so!

( Lemme tell you all about the fun times )